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I A day comes, passes, and is remembered a day to teach and remind, to appreciate the richness and beauty, of those we hold dear. Minute to minute, I live this day hour to hour, time passes I feel the melancholy sweetness as each second becomes a permanent part of the fabric; my wonderful life. I have seen a sleeping deity awake and my spirit is welcomed to a shared world of humanity. I recognize love and with joy, reveal my soul... II I am a spirit who smiles at deepest brown, open eyes childish bliss and playful laughs I am a spirit who cries lamenting through long nights spent away as tears cloud my memory; and in my loneliness knows loathing, hatred, and mortality. I am a spirit who loves, as no other has loved, the deity which softly pulses with encroaching enlightenment; who loves his mate and the scar on her chin. I am a spirit at once well and sick, darkness and light, happiness and misery. I offer thanks for the ability to see for through darkness comes a blinding light and lessons of utmost joy, a backdrop of deepest blue through which a happy thought shines. I am a spirit who is reminded of love when a hand touches my hair of caring and helplessness in a naked embrace. A word, an affirmation of humanity, a look is my will to be. I am a spirit who has suffered and will suffer still who has loved and will love more who survives with a helpful idea and an acceptance of good and bad I am a spirit who cherishes understanding acknowledging unique beauty and opens its being to another's life and love. I am a spirit of heaven and hell incomplete without a caring mind and youthful excitement. I am a spirit of this world and beyond. I am a spirit whose tears have flown more abundant than a migrating flock a flight of humours a bleeding consciousness a ripple in a pool of bliss a reflection of deepest love I am a spirit who has climbed the mountain and looked down on the world Knowing such love that death was welcome. I am a spirit who has wrenched itself free from the grime of Lucifer to return to the garden and eat freely of its fruit. III You are my eternal companion light in dark and black in white my life and death, sanity and sickness a strong totem and a crack in a stain glass window I look to the sea and see your smile I see your face in a flame reaching higher and higher I see your love in the side of a mountain I feel your fear when reality is gone Forever we will fly together free we soar over cities, through other worlds shadows of our common souls. |
Who is the wanton idealist who seeks cupid's bow but recoils from the pain as the soul is pierced and reality is shook? An arrow through the heart is joy in metaphor but the rend is painful and the wound oozes life with time the trouble passes and the fruits of humanity become all the more sweet. |
A lover's embrace the night before separation. At the end of a long journey, one wonders will things ever be the same... We cry for another hour, wish for another day for time apart breeds growth away and means the end of a chapter of life. Say good-bye and mean it distance makes the heart more distant. |
There is no constant moon tonight and I sit in an absence of mind, desirous of lunar satisfaction; a state of solitude and happiness. I am lost in the rhythm and rhyme of the wind in the trees. smell life in the air and open up to the breeze, a cool breeze at that, scented with a hint of melancholy as I come back to a place I knew so well. A year ago, this park meant a quiet afternoon on a blanket with a book and friends, with my lover and wife to be, a summer spent happy, a summer of love and peace. But now I sit in sorrow many years later, my love far away. I sit with a memory of that sweet person pressed against the lens of my inner eye her hands outstretched and brow wrinkled as if she could walk up to me now and hold me. But I know the mirage isn't true, I know she would shun me were she here now to share this moonless night. I know my words would be a burden and annoyance. I know I would crumble and the tears would roll oh, we have both changed. But the park and its tower have not so I'll walk to the spot where I spent many sunny days in peace, and just remember my girl. Maybe I'll cry by myself and pretend I can feel her warmth of soul and body. Perhaps I will see her eyes brown and bright as they looked back at me on our wedding day. Maybe I'll see her smile too and feel the flesh of her hands as we promised to always be there for each other. She is there no longer and she shuns me she pushes me away and pulls my heart and my mind away from my soul Oh I am sick with discontent and surprise that the One can never return and the chaste purity of an innocent time died with words and stabbed my back unknowing malice when I let my spirit open and looked to the one who promised a shoulder on which I could weep when life became hard and my hand went for my throat. Weep not for me, weep for all who have known this awful remorse deep in their gut. |
In my loneliness, I sometimes find a sweet thought. A minute of acceptance a second of freedom from a feeling of sadness. I can put myself on the side of a mountain or alone in a sunny field; sweating dry in the desert or feeling the knot in my back after leaning on a tree in the forest for hours on end. I can smile at a child and laugh at his evasiveness as his mother tries to gain control I can pity a homeless man; smile at the innocent sex appeal of a teenaged girl; shake my head at the bags and wrinkles of a troubled woman's eyes. I can acknowledge energy and drink it in without hesitation; appreciate food; love music; cry at art; breathe the air; shiver in the cold; I can feel again! I've had my hour for today and for this I give thanks for this time to feel a little bit human, a little bit free. |
[Cover | Surroundings | Creativity | Darkness | Life | Nature | Love | Peace | Epilogue]
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